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‘Cause we’re all scared of loneliness

Not until she had known the pleasures and security of companionship, did she realize the trauma of loneliness.

Not until he had had his first break up, did he realize the need for a partner to fill the void that he began to feel right afterwards.

Man is a social animal. He needs the society. He needs the company of other human beings to be able to survive amidst the challenges that life throws at him.

While society is essential to the well being of humans, we all need a partner for physical and emotional companionship.  While there are millions of other partnerships and friendships that fulfill our emotional needs and keep us from going insane in a world that is harsh and constantly challenges your psyche and emotions, the need for a partner you can share your life with becomes essential. This person becomes the one you can talk to about your strangest insecurities, your most serious career plans, your hydrophobia, in short anything you wish to. And a simple hug from this person tells you that all is well with the world.

The presence of this one person makes life happy in its own way, and the absence fills it with a kind of void. But just like the reassurances of just one person makes all worries go away, the compliment of just this one person makes you feel on top of the world and like you need the validation of nobody else, when this person acts in any way negative, it hurts the most. A single disapproving comment leaves you thinking for hours at a stretch, the want of validation from this person directly affects your self esteem making you wonder what is wrong with you after all. While this is absolutely unhealthy and unwarranted behavior, the truth that this is how relationships mostly work cannot be denied.

It is a universally acknowledged fact that every person, at some point or the other feels pangs of loneliness in the absence of a partner. Even those who choose to stay single voluntarily, have been known to feel lonely at some point in time or the other. Without a significant other life does become barren, with a void.

Relationships are beautiful. They bring the best out of you. Make you do things that you never thought you were capable of doing. But at the same time, these very relationships can turn painful when either partner grows distant, or abusive or plain hurtful. All relationships need work and need to be built, but when one partner takes the other for granted and/or a partner doesn’t get the due respect, it gets ugly. There are a lot of cases of physical and sexual violence too that keep coming up every now and then. These abusive relationships give one nothing more than pain and hurt, while one is in those relationships.

When we talk about abusive relationships, we often talk about how the abused partner was foolish to stay in it for even some time. The fact is that a lot of people stay in abusive relationships for a long time, trying to mend things and make them work, eventually. From an outsider’s point of view staying in an abusive relationship for even a day seems like a foolish thing to do, with a loss of self respect and dignity. But once you’re in a relationship, you realize that at one point you grow so scared of losing an important person in your life, that you take his/her abuse in your stride too. Most of us stay in abusive relationships simply because we’re scared of the loneliness that comes with the absence of a significant other.

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