Modern dating is not only ambiguous and complicated, but it is scary on a lot of levels. Considering the time and emotion we actually spend building relationships, we know the importance of finding the ‘right’ person at the ‘right’ time. But our generation is often criticised for its hook-up culture, where breaking up is always the preferred option as opposed to sticking it out.
However, despite this, our generation knows that relationships are safe investments. When after many ‘wrongs’ in life, we land up with the one, we want to stick around. We aren’t commitment-phobic anymore. We are ready to take that plunge and get married. Even when there are days when we suck at everything, we have their back. But here’s why our generation has it tougher in love, but tries to make it work anyway.
1. Even with multiple chatting and video calling apps, communicating in a relationship has become harder. But we’re doing it anyway.
We forget that relationships today are way more complicated, and it’s all thanks to technology and our hectic schedules that we often end up losing that ‘one’ person. Even though our generation is digitally blessed, sometimes technologically acts like that wicked curse you feel like getting rid off. Because the digital age has definitely fragmented our relationships with our partner. From Google hangouts to Skype to Viber, he’s there on every platform, but communication isn’t a cakewalk. From questions like ‘why didn’t you answer? I saw the blue tick’ to ‘Why didn’t you like my Instagram picture’, communication has become way more complicated. Unlike our parents’ time when the only way to block the other person was turning your landline upside down.
2. We’re compared to others. All. The. Time. But we’re taking the positives.
Social media has made it a point to ensure we see what everyone on our news feed is up to. This means our partner sees it too. As a result, you will be compared to someone else and that will put pressure on you. But it’s important to be patient in your handling of the situation. Try and see the positives and ignore the negatives. All of this happens only when you put in effort, and the good thing is you’re willing to do it.
3. We’re individualistic, and that gives rise to more differences.
But even when both of you are not on the same page, you make an effort to understand each other’s point of view. It’s okay to have a conflict of interest and you know it doesn’t make you love him or her less. Even though your choices differ, you are not really on different pages. Your differences are what make you a rocking couple. It’s okay to differ, it’s okay to have different passions. What matters at the end of the day is how you compliment each other.
4. We make career choices based on relationships, even if it means changing cities, countries or continents. And that, often, is a compromise.
Love in the time of our parents was easier. Degree, job, marriage and a happily ever after. Today, it’s complicated. Your relationship may require you to make tough choices but at the end of the day, what matters is their happiness. Sometimes lack of decision-making capabilities may make them doubt your intentions. However, if you both are sure about each other, things automatically fall into place, effortlessly. Again, though,it’s important to be mature about each decision.
5. Our hectic lives make it difficult to take time out for our partner.
But while you are trapped in the cobwebs of monotony, that includes a 9 to 5 job that also has a few ‘grumpy boss’ days, you still make an effort to spend time together. Apart from those lavish lunch dates, you still understand how important it is to have ‘quality’ conversations. Even when both of you don’t meet every day because of your busy schedules, you make time for each other. Sometimes, a 15-minute phone call before bed might just prove better than a Sunday brunch. Heavier the eyelids, sincerer the words after all!
6. We’re more open to breaking up and moving on. But we learn a valuable lesson each time.
Our generation has started to believe that giving up on a relationship is easier than dealing with it. But each time you break up with someone, you introspect on why it happened, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. You fall in love again but remember that love is hard to keep, and it’s even harder to make someone believe that you are irreplaceable. But when you both know it, things will definitely fall in place.
7. We’re insecure, but we try to focus more on our love.
“He told me he’d call back but he never did!” There’s a reduced tolerance for over-analysing and over-fantasising. Because half of the time, we tend to complicate everything because of insecurities. What happened with your ex will not necessarily happen again. We’re all capable of getting lucky and finding that person who will love us no matter how immature or imperfect we are! Rejoice. Don’t let your insecurities be bigger than the love and adoration you have for that person.
8. Our multiple experiences ensure that we’re willing to wait it out till we find someone who accepts us for who we are.
In our teenage years, we tried too hard. We tried to change ourselves, tried to tone down our temper, tried harder to not spill food on our favorite white shirt and embarrass our partner! But not anymore. You quest is to find someone who’ll love you for the way you are. The good part is when you know that the person has seen you inside out, you can chill and be yourself. You know you’re with the right person when the other person knows that even though you’ll evolve as a person, your core personality won’t change. You can hug them, and kiss them whenever you want to (this is so damn underrated! Hugs are these magical pills that cure every damn pain. From the right person at the right time, it’s utter bliss. Okay, I’m digressing). You might be a sensitive person who cries at the drop of a hat and he’ll be perfectly fine with it. You need to realise that you’ll be unreasonably rude, selfish and arrogant at times and they’ll still love you.