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Take a pause, and breathe… before you settle down

As a kid the only thing I wanted to do was to grow up and be free to do everything that I would see adults doing independently. With parents and teachers always giving me instructions as to what to do and what not to do, the adult life looked like a complete dream. Little did I know that that dream was full of hardships and impediments. Little did I know that when I really do grow up, all I’d wish for is to go back to being a kid in school, blissful in the sanctuary in my parents’ and teachers’ care.

But like they say, come what may the show must go on. And while growing up is difficult and inevitable with all its setbacks and frustrations, it is not all that bad after all. It does have its own set of benefits that if made use of dexterously, the tough part of growing up can be dealt with, with a lot of fun.

Marrying and settling down is a big decision, and whether one may want or not, it comes with a plethora of life changing responsibilities and avenues. While it has a great potential of providing one with security, comfort, love, and happiness, it is a life altering event that can lead to frustrations on some level at some point.

In a country like India, daughters and daughters-in-law are looked upon with a humungous amount of expectations, which most women end up abiding by and fulfilling in the wake of their marriage, happily. But there are some things that the heart always yearns. The time, energy, and freedom, to be yourself, and have a little fun. Here are a few things that every woman in her twenties should do before taking the final plunge into stability.

  1. Take a trip with the girlfriends.

Accept it or not, but there are some things about your life that only your girlfriends understand and support. While the love and company of your family and your partner are important, there’s no denying the fact that girlfriends make for a firm and steady pillar of support. An all-girls trip with your buddies, before you decide to settle down and can find no time from your hectic schedules and responsibilities, is a must. Not only will it bring you closer to them, it will bring you closer to yourself and the amount of fun that such trips are is absolutely unmatchable.


  1. Make a career and have a bank balance.

While finding a stable job and sticking to its routine, to grow within it is settling down enough, getting married and entering a new family to take up additional responsibilities is another kind of settling down that we are expected to do reaching a certain age. The pressures are such that we begin to believe that getting married at an age the society deems right, is really the right thing to do. While there is no right and no wrong in this regard, and one is free to marry when one wants, we still live in a world that is run by men in a lot of ways, and having an independent career and a bank balance, are some of the essential ways of keeping your individuality and independence after marriage.


  1. Make new friends and broaden your circle and get to know more people.

Once you settle down, your circle of friends and acquaintances is going to shrink to an extent, naturally. And while you have little or no time to socialize and keep meeting new people, there may come a point when you wouldn’t want to either. But meeting new people is one of the best ways to learn new lessons in the subject called life, each passing day. The vibrancy that diverse ideas, ideologies, lifestyles, etc., bring into your life, is unmatchable. Besides, meeting new people and getting to know their stories, can result therapeutic in the madness of a fast paced life.


  1. Pursue a hobby.

It is never too late to pursue a hobby, but in the hustle bustle of life, as responsibilities begin to pour in, there’s hardly any time left for something you liked as a school kid. While you’re still finding your way in the world, it’s nice to re-discover your love for a hobby. Not only will it give added significance to your life, but also help as a stress buster. And who knows, you may find a full-fledged career in it, making you one among those who pursue their passion as their profession.


  1. Try as many different jobs as you want before settling down for what you want finally.

Deciding what office you wish to work at for the rest of your life, isn’t as easy as it seems. While in college, we all have a plan for our lives, but we can only be sure of what we exactly wish to do when we actually do it as a profession. Once you settle, you need stability and financial security, but while you’re young and have no responsibilities to take care of, you are free to take as many risks as possible. Try as many internships in college as possible, switch jobs to see which one suits you better, and eventually you’re sure to find your way in this harsh world.

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